Thanksgiving: Off to Rough Start

The leaves are falling, there’s a nip in the air, and a young man’s fancy turns to turkey, especially falling asleep in front of the bowl game while stuffed with the afore mentioned bird. Before venturing into the wilds (or the market) to bag a bird, the seeker of poultry needs to become one with the turkey, must get inside its feathers and roam the forest or barnyard a bit. To do that one has to revisit the scene of the crime and develop a sense of time and place for the first Thanksgiving.

Turkeys are native to the Americas, the Aztec loved to eat them while on a break from making human sacrifice to the Turkaquotil, the ancient god of the turkeys. In fact they may have been responsible for first domesticating the fowl. Meanwhile in North America the turkeys were extreme free range birds, hunted for flesh and feathers. Europe and the rest of the world wasn’t going to be able to fall asleep in front of the witch burnings, filled to the brim with tryptophan laden turkey until England booted the riffraff out and told them to go pester the Native Americans, which they did with glee.

The Eurotrash got off to a rough start despite the Native Americans helping them get their feet on the ground (a mistake they’d come to regret later), so after the harvest in 1621 they all came together to give thanks, sort of like a wrap party on the set of Survivor. The Native Americans that hadn’t succumbed to small pox yet joined in the celebration and shared the provender, most likely venison, ducks, squash, veggies, and turkey.  In 1622 the Wampanoag Indians came into the village and killed some of the settlers and so were not invited to the next bash.

In 1781 the Feds saw the religious holiday as a chance at a sweet day off, so deemed it a national holiday. The merchants wanted to get in on the action and so the day was moved to an earlier date under Roosevelt, so the boys could hawk their goods. It is unclear as to when Black Friday first raised its ugly head but has become the most dangerous shopping day of the year, even more gruesome than fighting over a turkey with the wolves.

This sets the stage for the elevation of the turkey to a national Icon (almost) and its appearance as the main guest at most T-Day celebrations.

Next: The Trouble With Turkeys