Turkey Day Plan

It would seem as though cooking the Thanksgiving spread would be a daunting task, especially if there are hostile in-laws involved. Just remember the pilgrims made it through the first one with a tribe that wasn’t particularly sold on the idea of having a bunch of puritans for neighbors, not that I blame them. Your in-laws may be picky, but they won’t take scalps if the dinner is less than satisfactory. There is also a safety net, one that the pilgrims didn’t have – Pizza Hut is open on Thanksgiving.

The first step is to divide the dinner up into near rocks and far rocks. The turkey qualifies as a near rock, it must be started early enough to be ready for dinner, but not so early that it becomes turkey jerky only one of the Wampanoag’s tomahawks is heavy duty enough to cut the meat. The turkey breasts are very prone to drying out quickly and thighs take a while so one must strike a balance. Far rocks would be dinner rolls; these aren’t going to take long to bake - plan oven use out ahead of time to avoid conflicts and delays.

Just as a large airport has to schedule each runway for takeoffs and landings, the cook will need to develop a schedule for oven use. This can be alleviated by preparing the turkey on the grill, freeing the oven for baking, or bake the rolls and such before hand and simply warm them up when the time comes. Cooking ahead of time wherever possible is a great way to save time on the big day. It is an easy choice when it comes to sitting with the guests quaffing a large schooner of Leinenkugel's. Don’t be shy about drafting the guests for KP duty or feel guilty about the way the smooth Leinie’s Red goes down while the mom-in-law is consigned to the kitchen to peel spuds.

So, near rocks/far rocks, time management, cooking ahead, and cleaning up after each step will put the cook ahead of the game and possibly save a marriage. Amounts of beer in between kitchen sessions will help pave over the rough spots (oh, they’ll still be there but the brain no longer has enough non-saturated cells to worry about the pitfalls), and consider putting the relatives up in a motel. All these steps will aid I a smooth and enjoyable Thanksgiving.